Between 2 Cupcakes : Kinkfest 2026

Today we’re going to give you all a special treat - an interview between 2 staff members here at The Cupcake Girls. We’re testing this out as a “Between 2 Cupcakes” style of segment and we’re looking forward to doing more in the future.

This interview is between Ash Miller our current Executive Director and “G” one of our key staff members and they are talking all about Kinkfest 2026. Kinkfest is an annual, 3-day event in Portland, OR; celebrating sexual diversity and the BDSM, fetish and leather communities. KinkFest offers 50+ educational classes, afternoon and evening play parties, and a huge vendor mall filled with products and services from local and national leather, fetish and kink businesses.

On the Partnership

Ash: We’re bringing the cupcakes and the resources to the Expo Center again! Based on your past experiences at the event, what’s the one thing you want attendees to understand about why TCG and Kinkfest make such a powerful team?

G: There is and can be much overlap with conference attendees and those who fall within the populations we serve. Kinkfest is a huge networking and outreach opportunity for our organization. Anyone who visits our booth can learn more about what types of support our organization provides. We get to connect with potential program participants, community advocates, sex educators, potential partners with useful vanilla jobs, potential donors, and every-day kinksters who travel from all over the nation looking for more resources and connections. 

On Community Resilience

Ash: It’s 2026, and the world feels heavy. Having been on the ground at Kinkfest before, why do you feel it’s still worth the 'blood, sweat, and tears' to show up? What does our presence there say about the future of how these communities show up for one another?

G: Kinkfest is a safer-space for people to explore, educate, learn, indulge, and more. KF and The Cupcake Girls are here to stand our ground within the current administration to ensure people know our present and future is full of community care, believing survivors, empowering sex workers and fellow kinksters, and staying true to ourselves and our belief that a better, safer, more inclusive world is possible. Our presence allows us to continue our efforts and connect with even more people, year after year.

On the Evolution of Aftercare

Ash: Aftercare is central to our mission. Looking at the 2026 schedule, specifically classes like 'Exploring Our Routes to Safety', how have you seen the event evolve from just 'playing safe' to 'landing safe'? Do you feel we’re moving toward a model where aftercare is a shared community responsibility?

G: Aftercare is very important. While it is subjective to each person, asking for what that entails and providing that care is everyone's shared responsibility. Similar to playing a board game, you don’t just finish the game and leave all the pieces out to fend for themselves. Instead, you finish and enjoy the experience (or the victory) while tending to the pieces that need resetting. Time, attention, and “completion of the cycle” are needed to ensure each piece is handled with care and ready for the next round/thrilling adventure.

On Supporting Professionals

Ash: We serve many folks who work professionally in the industry. As a TCG staffer walking the floor, how do you navigate being a resource for these pros while also ensuring they have the space to just be to enjoy the festival as participants without always being 'on the clock'?

G: Visiting our booth is optional, and disclosing personal information is not required. Meaning, if folks visit our booth, they’re welcome to spark a conversation with us if they’d like, or they can take Free Store supplies and/or our information and be on their way. We simply aim to use the weekend to provide resources and education, share involvement opportunities, and provide a safer space for people to be themselves and maybe take some useful and fun supplies with them; to enjoy is to be stocked on things you need! 

On the KIND Team & Safety

Ash: Kinkfest promotes their KIND (Kinky Informed Neuro-spicy De-escalation) team. In your time at the event, what’s a 'safety win' you’ve witnessed that wouldn't show up on a spreadsheet? Was there a moment of grace or a shift in the room's energy that really stuck with you?

G: A few years ago, a female attendee came to our booth and let us know a male attendee was making her uncomfortable with conversations promoting a local club and asking people to participate in and attend certain events. The male attendee was sparking these conversations in the Dungeon (and I myself had a similar interaction with him right before this comment was brought to our booth). She wanted support telling a KF team member. Once we connected with the KF team, we all agreed there was a “better” or safer way for conversations like these to take place that didn’t make guests feel as if they couldn’t decline, or that they were being specifically targeted for interaction. The KF team located the male attendee to correct the behavior, and we didn’t hear of anything similar happening after that. I appreciate the quick action and support from the KIND team.

On Digital Advocacy & Stigma

Ash: The communities we bring together be it at Kinkfest or through the work done by The Cupcake Girls often face similar 'shadowbanning' and banking hurdles. From your perspective in outreach, how do these digital barriers affect the folks we serve at Kinkfest? How can we use our partnership this year to better advocate for the digital rights of 'stigmatized' communities?

G: We want folks to know we exist and what we do. I know that both KF and TCG experience shadowbanning and other censorship issues. Education is key. The more we talk about digital censorship in an age where many of us connect, learn, and find resources online, the more folks will know how to combat harmful tactics [shadowbanning] that negatively impact stigmatized communities and learning opportunities. We could all use more information on how to search for and interact with content that is supportive and useful to us, which in turn helps the people who are creating this content as well.

On Staying Grounded

Ash: When you’re standing in the middle of 50,000 square feet of play space and the logistics get loud, what keeps you grounded? How do you practice the same 'self-aftercare' that we’re out there teaching the attendees?

G: Taking things at my own time and pace, and listening to my needs. I appreciate that the play space has various options: I can sit on the sidelines (a sideline voyeur), snacks, water, and first aid is readily available, I can take a lap around (or multiple laps hehe), say no to invites to play, leave the space and come back if/when wanted, and more. I wish the outside world could be more like the inside of KF – consent is mandatory and people move along if told no, it feels so good to be so respected. 

On the 'Heart' of the Event

Ash: We have historically used cupcakes to start hard conversations. If you had to pick one 'sweet' tradition or moment from your time at Kinkfest that represents the heart of this community, what would it be, and how can we help 2026 attendees find that same sense of welcome?

G: During our second year at Kinkfest (KF 2023), I participated in the Vendor Fashion Show. I received an impromptu invite the day of and almost didn’t attend. Well, I ended up going and I won “Best In Show”, I was shocked. Amongst people in stunning chaps and fabulous latex bodysuits, I went on stage in jeans and a “That Bitch” t-shirt; it still makes me giggle thinking about it. I was the definition of not dressed for the occasion. However, I brought up a TCG “Decriminalize Sex Work” tote bag and strutted that thing around the stage and into the audience loud and proud. I rubbed it on my body, raised it in the air, and danced around; I was just having fun. People loved it, and I loved the attention and praise afterwards. People really remembered us after that.